Ugh.

I recently overheard a conversation about boob size. Well, by overheard, I mean read, and by conversation, I mean Facebook status plus its comments.

It basically went like this:

Girl 1: Women get their confidence from their boob size.
Girl 2: I completely agree!!! :)!!!!!
Girl 3: It's because of the men. All men like big breasts.

Um ....... okay.

I, for one, get my confidence from my intelligence and snappy wit. And if I were to rest my opinion of myself on various parts of my body, this would just be sad. I have tiny boobs. My legs are long but nothing to write home about, and my ass is not something I like to flaunt too much. I have nowhere near washboard abs, and my arms have little if any tone to them. The only features I can really be "proud" of are my lips and my eyes; I will not have to worry about Botox later in life, and I have blue cat-like eyes. And yet, I manage to leave my house every day without feeling like I have to boost these physical areas. Sure, I work out and I love running; but it isn't my main focus.

As I've said before, I loathe generalizations. Why? Because more often than not, it doesn't apply in such a grand scale. "All men like big breasts." Ha. If I took a poll of my guy friends, I can almost guarantee you that this will not be the consensus. In fact, most of them would say, "More than a handful (or depending on the couth-ness rating, a "mouthful" might apply here instead) is just a waste." Now, this is not to say that there aren't men out there who get turned on by big breasts. The porn industry would not be where it is today if this were not so. It's like saying that all men want a woman who looks like Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie (*gasp* They are in the same sentence!!! Certainly there will be a brawl!). Sure, both are beautiful women, and most men will attest to this. But I know of some guys that are kind of meh towards both.

It's starting to look like all the phobias women have with their bodies are perpetuated by themselves. This isn't a novel idea, of course, but it's becoming very apparent to me, as of late. We have all of this media coverage, various beauty products, the latest styles, fad diets, etc., that just manage to keep us thinking that we're somewhere below par. That is the main reason I changed my major from marketing. The more I studied the concepts, the more I disagreed with basically convincing people that their lives weren't what they could be without such-and-such product. Blech. And while they don't just focus on women, it does seem that many companies do target them.

But then it gets this idea in our heads that we need to get the newest look from the runways (which, to me, always look horrendous - if you can muster the strength, just look at an Elle magazine fashion spread. Can I just say, "YUCK.") or try the anti-aging cream at age 28.

And from what I have heard, which is not to say it's entirely representative, many guys just sit there, scratching their heads. "You looked fine before this. What did you do this for? Me? I liked you the way you were." It's why I hate those commercials about the woman using this cream that shed 10 years off or whatever, and her husband said that he was more attracted to her now. Thanks, advertising assholes.

So here's an idea. How about getting your confidence from something other than your boobs? Your eyes? Your hair? If you died, do you want somebody to say, "She had really amazingly large breasts" or "She had an amazingly large heart?"

I'll take the latter, thanks.

It's WAR!!! Well, kind of.

Oh, I love it when magazines fight with each other. It sometimes makes us forget that they are crappy, especially when it's Cosmo and AskMen.

So apparently, AskMen.com posted a story about the stalker-esque behaviors of women on Facebook (I'll sum it up for you: we set up fake profiles so we can watch the menz that have wronged us; we're passive-aggressive with private photos and our statuses; AND we lie about our relationship status - get that?? All women are the absolute same, us crazy, manipulative bitches.) and Cosmo responded in turn with, "Well, men do annoying stuff, too!!" (Again, summation: they don't tell us if they're in a relationship; they block their photos; they ask us out via our profiles; they detag themselves from photos; they act like frat boys, all of them!! Because they are all cut from the same cookie mold ... or whatever.)

I've said it before and I'll say it again: not all women are the same, and not all men are the same. Well, I guess the women who read Cosmo (and take it seriously) are the ones that the AskMen article is referring to in their little whine-fest, and vice versa. Because that's the only explanation I can come up with. I cannot recall a time when I have ever made a fake Facebook account; I rarely post photos of myself, let alone of friends and possible dating partners; if I'm mad at someone, I tell them with a phone call or a quick jab to the groin, not a status update; and I've been single both in life and on Facebook for the past couple of months because *shock* I am single. On the flip side, most guys I know don't do any of the shit in the Cosmo article, except maybe the frat boy quotage. But even that is usually tongue-in-cheek.

But still, one can only hope, for entertainment purposes at least, that this little article war will continue. What will the topic be next time?