28 August 2009

"My accent is ALWAYS on value."

Genesis Diamonds commercials seem to come up every time there's a run of ads, at least when you're listening to the radio (see my previous post on this). They aren't nearly as annoying as the Shane Company ones that basically make it sound like the purchase of jewelry is the most important thing EVAR. But they do paint themselves as the mavericks of the jewelry business.

For those of you who don't live in Nashville, Genesis Diamonds prides itself on being the official jewelry store of the Tennessee Titans. Now, I'm not sure exactly how this came to be, as the Titans are a football team, but maybe all the players buy little sparkly gifts for their wives after they have an affair or get drunk and do something stupid. Or maybe they make rings for them. I honestly haven't wasted too much brain power on this because, well, I don't care.

Right now, they have this manager whose name fails me narrating the commercials. He makes a point that he used to manage a chain jewelry store but he felt guilty trying to convince people to buy stuff. And he says that Genesis Diamonds is, like, totally awesome because they sell totally high-quality pieces at totally low prices! "The other stores price this blah-blah-blah-E2-clarity-blah-blah diamond ring at $5200, but we have it listed for $3000!" Whatever, it's still more than free, which is what I'm all about.

I guess the kicker is when the owner of Genesis Diamonds, Boaz Ramone, says the title of this post. "My accent is always on value." Don't you see, guys? He's playing on the fact that he's foreign! And that no one understands him because of his crazy, foreign person accent! But don't focus on that! Focus on the pricing! And the value! Blech.

I'm sure the economy has caused jewelry stores quite a downturn. But I just don't have much sympathy for them. They're just pandering to the people who think buying shinies for their significant others will completely take out the need to actually say, "I love you," or do anything that requires thought. Hell, if you're going to buy me a freaking tennis bracelet, costing about $1000, just give me the cash and I'll do something better with it ... like paying of my student loan. Nothing says I love you like no debt.

Anyway, I'll leave you with this from last year's Christmas season because Sarah Haskins is composed of pure awesome:


  1. Genesis Diamonds does their rings. How do I know that? I have no idea. I just do.

    I've always hated that commercial. Blahhhh...

  2. Copyright restrictions on that video in the UK.. shame. nice top. Does she do any jumping?

    Diamonds are worthless.

    The CLASSIC article is here:


    And that's an OLD article. Things have only gotten worse. Since then tons more diamonds have been dug up than have been sold. DeBeers has manipulated the market to "protect" prices.

    Um, anyway, more of my old man ranting same time, next week.

  3. No jumping from Ms. Sarah Haskins, but she does run away from the police, so plenty of boobie bounce-age .... which you don't get to see. Oh, well.

  4. Did Anton threaten to come back HERE to rant? Hmm...you could always give him an award. :)

    I used to design jewelry, but I don't wear it. How weird is that? Like you said, the money spent could go for so many other, more useful, things. Does that make us cheap dates?

  5. Hahaha! I SHOULD give him an award.

    I pretty much pride myself on being a cheap date. I drink half a beer and order the cheapest thing possible on the menu. Oh, and a big engagement ring? Bish plz. As long as it isn't gold, I'm good. :)

  6. OMG, that video is a scream! (Don't send the grammar police after me for the omg) I couldn't watch it last night when I first posted, but it's fantastic. Thanks for the laugh.

  7. I formally offer you clemency for the use of "OMG" as it has begun to creep into my vernacular, at least in the realm of the interwebs.

    But yes, Target Women is probably one of the funniest web shows ever. I think the jewelry one is my favorite, although the "doofy husbands" one is hilarious. http://current.com/target-women/