Rerouting

For a while, I wanted to have my writing separate from my personal blog, but it's just way too much of a hassle. If any of you were readers of my "A Million More to Go" blog, I apologize, but I'm not going to be updating it as of right now. I'll just be posting my stories on here.

Eventually I'll go back to it but for right now, one blog is probably enough for this girl.

Hope everybody is having a great weekend!!!

Exercise Chronicles, Part I: "I Have a Good Ass"

I just received my Yogalosophy by Mandy Ingber DVD in the mail, and I can't remember the last time I was so excited about trying out a new exercise program. Now, I'm not normally interested in anything that a celebrity espouses simply because a name is attached; that is pretty much reserved for a select set of famous people that include Dolly Parton, Sam Elliot, Joss Whedon and, in the case of Yogalosophy, Jennifer Aniston.

My favorite Friend, Aniston introduces the workout in her normal cheerful way, her impeccable physique in the foreground and the California sunshine behind her. It's a short intro and she says "my life" way too many times, but I couldn't help getting thrilled because, well, just look at the woman. She does this workout. And other things, I'm sure, but still.

So I select the first workout (there's 2 on here, plus extra little exercise snippets) with this big grin on my face, as I stand at attention. On comes Mandy Ingber, who has this sort of awkward cheerleader wannabe aura about her, standing firmly at the end of her yoga mat, ready to impart her wisdom.

And then the workout starts. It's not too difficult, I suppose, at the beginning, as it should be, but it quickly proves to me that this is no cakewalk. There's a reason Jennifer Aniston and Mandy Ingber look the way they do. Within the first six minutes, I look at the screen and yell, "You, ma'am, are INSANE!!!"

But she is just so gosh-darned cute. She has a vulnerability that I like, and there are all sorts of imperfections in the video that I really appreciate. I'm a fan of the Firm (I also just bought their new Wave workout program to alternate with Yogalosophy), and all their videos tend to be squeaky clean. Mandy messes up some of her lines, but she's so endearing that you overlook it. She also tells this silly little jokes that could come off as her trying too hard, yet her giggle afterwards just makes you laugh with her. Plus, she has given me my new workout mantra: "I have a good ass, I have a good ass, I have a good ass ..." Lather, rinse, repeat as needed.


I figure, if I do this workout three times a week, alternating with the Firm and the treadmill, I'll be looking good by summer. Not that I'm going anywhere that I would need to bare my body for all to see (you see, I'm poor and my summer vacation is probably going to be me, Zola and a 6 pack of Hoegaarden on my parents' deck), but I'm just sick and tired of feeling blah. It's not even the size that is bothering me; I'm nowhere near overweight, but I don't like the fact that my jeans aren't fitting me as well as they did a year ago and that I just don't have the same energy.

So this is a step in that direction. And I'll probably be writing Ms. Ingber and Ms. Aniston heavily-all-caps laden letters of appreciation.

Good enough for government work ....

There is a reason why that phrase exists.

It's no secret that I work for the government. I'm a state employee and, for the most part, I enjoy my job, especially since I just transferred into nursing home Medicaid (or TennCare, for those of you who live in Tennessee) which involves one of my favorite demographics of people. I nearly fall in love with ever single old man I've ever come across - there was one 70-something man who proposed because he got a disability check and could take care of me.

Anyway, I can't go into many details because, well, most of the info is protected, but I have not been more frustrated at my job like I was yesterday. I'm updating files for several clients and I run across one that's been mishandled. And instead of admitting that something was done incorrectly, people have basically said, oh, well, just close the case and let them reapply. Um. No. We effed up on our end, so there is no reason to penalize the patient. Ugh.

I understand why most people have negative attitudes about going into a government building. Many times, before I started working for the Man, I'd gone in and the apathetic attitudes exuded by the people behind the desks makes me wish that I could just inject them with some sort of personality so I could at least somewhat enjoy my time there. I even tried to be nice and I was just met with ambivalence. And confusion.

Granted, I can understand the aloof attitudes, to some degree. I see a lot of needy people and if I was to feel remorse for every single person that walked through those doors, I would be depressed all of the time. But you can't completely cut yourself off emotionally. It's a balancing act.

Take a girl I had to call yesterday and explain to her that she wasn't eligible for Medicaid and that her food stamps case had to be closed because she made too much money. She got angry and I had to transition into my detached mode. I know that she's not angry at me but I've learned that, if I don't realize that and take myself out of the situation, I will get mad right back at her. So I shut my emotions down until she gets calm. Then I turn my empathy back on and let her know that I'm very sorry, I offer her different options and wish her the best of luck. At the end of the call, she's still frustrated but she knows (or at least I think she does) that I had done everything I could to help her.

But there's also the fact that people in my profession become jaded. We see truly needy people and then we see people who wish to scam the system. And many times, it's very hard to tell the difference between the two; you think someone is hurting and then you find out they're lying to you. Happens more often than I'd like.

But I made a decision yesterday that I would not sink into the "government worker" mentality. It's going to be very difficult because of the massive caseload that I have, but it's a goal, one that I think it is worth it. I want to be like Little Miss MFA at my office, who, after 32 years working as an eligibility counselor still has tremendous rapport with her clients and has yet to be in a bad mood in the entire 8 months I have known her.

Sigh. I hope I can make it 5 years, let alone over 30. Can I retire now???

Will I be watching the Golden Globes?

Probably not.

The Emmys?

I think I have something else planned.

Will I be watching the Oscars?

Meh. Maybe the red carpet part where the celebrities strut around in sparkly clothing. The actual awards show? Nah.

I remember a time - probably when Gwen Paltrow wore that bubblegum pink princess dress for whatever movie she won "Best Actress" back in the 90s - when I looked forward to the award show season. I even yearned to go to Sundance and Cannes.

Then again, back then, I watched television on a regular basis and movies were a major part of my life. Friends was still on NBC and the only reality show was the Real World (and already losing its popularity). Pop Up Video was on VH1, and the Disney Channel had actual Disney cartoons on them.

Ah, those were the days.

Now, I wait until TV shows or movies come out on DVD, rent the first disc from Blockbuster and decide if it needs to be part of my DVD/Blu-Ray collection. Lucky for me, my sister has connections at the local cinema, so I can often get into movies for free to see if they are worth my time. So most often, I don't know about a new movie until it is no longer in theaters.

And, as old fogey as this sounds, I don't even know most of the celebrities nowadays. Leighton Meester? Who the hell is she? Lauren Conrad? Why is she famous? Jason Segel? Yeah, I know who he is but I haven't seen any of his movies, so I can't comment on why people find him to be a good actor.

Maybe it's maturity that's set in, but I really don't have any desire to know anything about celebrities. I was listening to the radio yesterday and Ryan Seacrest (remind me again, why the hell is he famous in any way?) left this blind item: "What famous break up is in the news again?" I actually said this out loud: "I don't know. Haiti?" and put in my Halo: ODST soundtrack. I still have not lost sleep over this; nope, I have lost sleep over my new class, work and general unhappiness with my state of fitness.

Now, considering the reputation the Globes have for being less pretentious than the other ceremonies, I may actually tune in if nothing else is going on. I'm pretty sure I could be studying.

Juju's Rules

I love the USA Network for many reasons; Burn Notice, In Plain Sight and Psych are incredibly fun, well-written shows and they have Law and Order: SVU, Law and Order: CI and NCIS marathons. We're not talking five episodes back to back, like CSI: Miami on A&E (although that is a favorite way of mine to spend a Saturday night); this is a full weekend of police procedural drama.

Not only does this give me a change to stare at Stabler and Gibbs for hours on end, I also get to play solve-the-mystery. This, however, is a little less fun after you've seen probably every episode ever, but the prettiness on the screen never gets old.

Plus, I get little ideas for my own life. Take Jethro Gibb's list of rules for life. I think I will make up one for myself and start posting up in my room and office/cubie (and yes, I spelled it cubie - pronounced "kew-bee") but I only have a few to start:

1) Never watch reality television if it involves alcohol, dating, "love," roses, people trying to be famous for being famous, etc. This is based on review of the first show.
2) Exercise every day; it can help you clear your mind.
3) Write/draw/be artistic as often as possible.
4) Try not to procrastinate.
5) Take breaks from the internet.

It's not a bad compilation so far, but I've got a ways to go. I'm also allowing for amendments because fluidity is important.

Plus, I change my mind a lot, so anything set in stone is kind of daunting for me.

Trepidation sets in .......

Yeah, so I start my A&P II class in two days. Two mother-effing days.

I'm pretty much terrified that this is all a waste of $640.00. Please, God, help me not fail this class.

Ugh.

Vintage JuJu

Every once in a while, usually around the beginning or end of the year, I like to look through the old pictures of my family, partially for memory purposes - it's really nice to see my deceased grandmother looking healthy and happy - and also to laugh hysterically at some of the fashion faux pas from the earlier part of my life. Granted, the early parts of my life were in the 80s and early 90s, which were horrible eras for fashion (And why, for the love of GOD, is 80s back in? Did we not learn anything from the decade of big hair and neon????), so I have plenty of fun choices to mock.

Yesterday, I whipped out the old, crumbling tomes of days past. I couldn't help but think, "Oh, I was so cute! What the hell happened?"

But anyway, here are a few of the highlights:

(Now, I would have just posted the pictures here directly, but Blogger was being dumb and wouldn't let me. So you get a video instead. Whee.)